The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree, But it does smack your face on its way down.

So recently, and by that i mean last night at the seedy trucker bar (Ray's Lounge: my favorite) after a few pitchers, some of my friends told me that i should start a blog of all the funny things i say/stories i tell. This is not the first time i've been told this. i also have two friends who (without having spoken to eachother) said they wished they had "apps" (god help our generation) on their phones called "Shit Katie Says" so they could record and/or have a log of all the unfiltered shit that comes out of this girl's mouth. i already have a blog, but it has strictly been about art & music (if you'd like to see it CLICK HERE.) And by strictly i mean that i watched my use of language and used sources and formalities, etc. Well, this blog will purely be offensive stories, satire, and anything/everything that makes me giggle. The general masses will most likely be offended, but eh i'm used to that (if you've ever had a class with me and religion or politics have been brought up, you know exactly what i mean. i have no shame). I hope to keep everyone smiling and giggling while school slowly drains us of life for the Spring.

I am going to backtrack for my first story, it's not very offensive but ehh; when i taught the small children at the Art Museum in the early fall. I would pour my heart out to this class of 2nd&3rd grade girls about art history and technique, but they would often get sidetracked and glorious, hilarious things would happen:

Here is a picture of ME being eaten by a bear:

Me: "What is this a picture of?"

Student: "It's you being eaten by a bear. See? You're screaming in terror."

The project was to draw a drawing using only curvy lines. She followed directions at least!

This project we were coloring the crinkly part on paper plates, cutting out the middles, and then placing leaves that we ironed in wax paper in the center to make Sun Windows. The aforementioned student was caught off-guard.

Me: "Ok girls, remember, we are NOT coloring the centers because we are going to cut them out."

Student: "What!? Oh. Ok."

Me: "What did you draw?"

Student: "Oh, well, just a banana, apple, and piece of bacon tap-dancing."

BEST. PICTURE. EVER.

This last one quite possibly is my favorite. The lesson was to draw a portrait of someone they knew.

Me: "Who is that?"

Student: "It's you, Miss Katie!"

Me: "Why do i have big blonde hair and horns?"

Student: "Oh, those are clippies in your hair and your hair is really big and pretty."

Me: "Is that frog sitting next to me saying, 'Ew'?"

Student: "Yeah." (followed by a big, toothy grin.)

So basically, i try to be serious for once, and my off-hand stories and actions affect the children even in their artwork. i hope i get another batch of kids like this next semester. i am corrupting America's Youth one Dancing Bacon at a time!!!

XO.